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No matter your background, odds are you carry some ideas about gender and what roles people of each gender play in a relationship.But what do you do when your gender identity, or the gender identity of your partner, complicates those assumptions?Those terms are a little different that bisexual, which refers to people who are attracted to both men and women. Just because he was born with the wrong parts doesn't mean that he is less a man than a man born with all the male parts. But you might also want to think about why having a lesbian identity seems so uncomfortable you.A reader named Harley explains it like this:"I am a 23 yr old FTM, I have a straight girlfriend and I must say you really should not feel like this challenges your sexuality at all. Just like some are born with missing body parts such as a arm, or some are born with an extra thumb, FTM's are just born with the mind of a man and our body doesn't match up with our mind. Doing so might challenge some of the ideas that you have about what it means to be a lesbian.Gender, on the other hand, refers to the cultural, and psychological traits typically associated with one sex or the other.Babies are usually assumed to have a male gender at birth if they have a penis, and a female gender if they have a vulva.

If it's not something you've ever discussed with a partner, it might feel odd at first to talk about what can seem like minor details, or hard to know why you prefer things a certain way, but practice makes this easier.

Gender identity is how someone feels about their gender assignment.

Sexual orientation, being lesbian, gay, bisexual or straight refers to who you are attracted to.

We have an article on relationship models here, but while that discusses the larger framework of a relationship, gender roles often cover smaller day-to-day details and mannerisms that can have a large impact on how everyone in the relationship feels about themselves and the relationship.

What attitudes or behaviors someone associates with a particular gender, or even perceives as gendered at all, aren't universal; you might have a case where one partner associates a behavior with femininity and the other associates it with masculinity, or where one person says "I always felt like date planning was something women were better at" and the other says "I never thought of that as gendered at all, I've always just let whoever had an idea make the plans that time!

If an X sperm fertilizes an X egg, the fetus will be female.

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26 Comments

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